lot are really weird – you reckon us dogs are weird………..take
a look at you lot??
go back to the beginning shall we? (What)?
was outside playing, well annoying the Italians actually
– as you do. OK then, I do. Anyway it was getting
late and we’d been out for some time when the whistle
went off and we all charged back to the house. I digressed
as I do to go and investigate something I had picked up
and then came the dulcid tones of my owner
on Claude, where’s my little Folle Beau Juex”
was sick on the yard next to the car, and so would you
be as well. Claudy poo’s my derriere
I gave in and ventured back to the house with an empty
went inside to be greeted by the all obeying Spins!! NOT
– half of them were still outside, devious dogs
they are, but for how long?
Dearest One gave the ones outside a motivational talk
and hey, guess what??
they all were and looking a little sheepish in a doggy
kind of way, but here we all are now………happy
as can be!!
was a mess to say the least, with all the rain we have
had and are still having there is loads of mud for me
to play in. But being a bit dim at times I forget that
playing in the mud leads to me being picked up and dumped
in the shower where I am hosed down.
ritual means I am allowed to spend the evening in the
front room – once I’ve dried off a bit.
To pass the time away I spend my time loitering with intent
in the kitchen. But there is of course a catch nowadays?
They’ve put a gate on and we can’t get in!!!!!
Damn and blast I say……..
in these days of all the humans being totally stupid and
needing governmental assistance all the time, it is good
to see a Health & Safety policy at work in the home……
play on words there don’t you think?? Gosh my Eenglish
So the gate allows ‘them’ in and keeps us
out. When they cook stuff we can only smell the cooking
and wish. The real damage to us all comes when it’s
our feeding time?
can only watch from outside of the gate as our food is
prepared in our bowls. But when the gate is opened!!!!!
are close to starving to death when the food gets put
down and of course we eat it like it’s our last
meal. Except me?
eat in a separate room because I do not rush my food,
leads to indigestion you know
it’s a slurp of water and that feeling of contentment
– full stomach and oh oh……?
need to go outside
“Let me out”
I’ve kept clean and it’s cold and miserable
and the couch and my toys in the living room are missing
the fire is on…….I hate that. It’s too
there’s always JJ?
love annoying the hell out of him. If he has a toy, its
If he has the couch, its mine!
he’s getting some fuss. I get twice as much because
I’ve jumped on the Dearest One’s lap, and
if JJ did that he would kill her!!
so the whistle is blown and I’m let back into the
house. Quick shake down and all clean (ish)
And now for the front room
the opposite of heaven is that”?
terrifying and its broke into our house and no one has
just who the hell do you think you are shorty”?
“Well, well, well…….stopped you in your
tracks have I”?
disguise doesn’t fool me shortrsss”
make one move and you’ll be Clauded”
warned you, crimson ninja”
“And take that”
NOW FOR THE KILLER BLOW”
yourself a man”
“Well you messed with Claude Barbet and now you’re
half the man.”
“Or, a quarter of the man given your size in the
Crimson Ninja is now The Crimson Ninjaress!!!!!!
Barbet strikes again
Vive le Claude…….
now for something completely different!!
(Where’ve you heard that before)?
this is where this whole thing really confused me?
The room was different
There was a small toy bearing tree that had sprouted from
Sparkly things were everywhere
And there were covered things – and one was for
And somehow, I know not how – I had got something
for them – The Italians
This is all very odd………
was then the Dearest One explained to me that this was
your annual Christian Festival for something you call
Christmas and The Crimson Ninja was indeed an essential
element in these celebrations
thinks I owe him (or her now) an apology”!!
well, c’est la vie”!!!
But for now it was fun time and to really annoy that JJ
tree had a fruit growing on it? And naturally I had to
I had underestimated JJ……..he had also seen
the toy tree and its fruit bearing capabilities,
but I saw it first!! (Childish)
a fight ensued
There was only ever going to be ONE winner…………
a Happy Ending for these Adventures – for once!!
why”? I hear you ask
peeps, it’s simple? This is the season of goodwill
to all…..er, Dogs and that tree was of course the
tree of toys and my mate JJ got one of his own ?
it for this time out and I hope you all had a great Christian
Festival………no sorry, I meant a Cool
did, we did and they all lived happily ever after…………..
happy, healthy and wise in 2013
“Sacre Bleu peeps – I nearly forgot”?
bet you’ve been wondering what happened to the Crimson
Ninja? Well of course Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas
without THE dinner would it. And of course we were no
exception and as this was the season of good will I shared
mine with JJ………….!!!
like Christmas……..especially Roast Ninja”