been a while since I’ve put paw to paper and made
some notes for you but it’s also been a time for
see peeps some upstart came home and claimed the place
you imagine my surprise when this man turned up and all
the dogs went out to greet him like he was some sort of
returning messiah. Certainly my owner thought he was and
I chose to go all arrogant and ignore him. Until he got
some treats out that is:
he was my best friend!!
French, gorgeous and I can do that if I want to –
and it’s got nothing to do with me being slightly
two faced. When I went in the front room I noted he sat
in MY place on the couch. There was only one thing for
would get up alongside him and gently make it so uncomfortable
for him that he would move. My time with the Spins has
not been wasted!!
just picked me up and made a fuss of me as do many of
my adoring fans. Can’t help it when you’re
this gorgeous – and he was no different. I thought
I had cracked it when he put me back on the couch. This
guy is one shrewd cookie let me tell you.
I was the one uncomfortable and slowly I gave in and went
and beat the hell out of one of my toys. A squeaky ball!!
I kept it for ages and the noise was awful and really
messed up their viewing of the idiot box in the corner.
was short lived as well because JJ got fed up of the squeaking
and took my ball off me…….the big bully.
at least he thought he was?
went up to him on HIS couch and attacked him. There ensued
a big fight in a playful kind of way but for a big dog
he was fast and when I did get the upper paw he simply
got up and slapped me with the other one. Not to be outdone
I twisted left and right to confuse him and all I did
was wear myself out!!! And so to sleep………….
just who the hell are you?
It turns out he really did own the place and as I learned
later from the others he is my owners mate……or
whatever they call them in human terms.
nuisance I called him
he kept his distance and ensured my owner remained my
boss when training. She had the treats anyway so he stood
after he came home we all went off to a big country show
– The Pembrokeshire Show which was really good fun
as my mate Kallie was allowed to come with me. It really
was Bonjours peeps all around and I went hoarse saying
it to all my adoring fans
I’m not sure what these shows are all about but
there were millions of people, the weather was hot and
there was a dog show on as well. Although my owner had
not entered this time round and it would have been academic
was the star of the show!!!
yes peeps it took us ages to get anywhere with so many
of my fans coming up and stroking me and asking the usual
question “What is it”………..
have no idea what it’s like, I now know what your
pop stars have to go through with all the fans and the
press and the camera’s.
the price I have to pay for being French and Gorgeous……..well
someone has to do it don’t they?
went to a place where this man was keeping Raptors? Birds
of Prey…….I stood there looking at them and
thought they were just like ducks but with attitude!!
were big and some not so but I was kept back away from
them. But one of them caught my eye? Apparently it was
called an owl – and his name was Gollum!!
I’ve no idea about Gollum but his big beady eyes
followed me everywhere and he was really spooky. And even
spookier was his head turned almost completely around.
I tried it and nearly beheaded myself much to the amusement
of my owner and ‘him’.
that owl was a real odd ball and made me glad there weren’t
any dogs like that – are there??
show was a temple of food in places and Kallie and I got
treats all over the place. The smells of roasts and cooking
meat were everywhere and so were we – eventually.
‘Eventually’ due to the fact that nearly everyone
was stopping us to ask what I was!!
hour of that and I would have been off to join the Legionnaires………even
I had had enough.
farm animals were a hoot (or was that Gollum) but some
of them – WOW and sacre bleu peeps, some of them
were huge. Bulls – ugly but enormous and I gave
them a very very wide berth. Respect was due and I gave
was a great day out and I thoroughly enjoyed my fan base
turning out to see me and make a fuss over me. Kallie
and I shared the treats and I’m glad I’ve
got paws thinking about it?
those autograph hunters!!
came the day of shame??
is no easy way to put this
owner, The Dearest One, She who must be obeyed (occasionally)
called me over one morning “Oh Claudy poos, where’s
my little Beau Geste”
day woman you will feel the wrath of the French Beast
went over anyway, you never know do you? Could be treat
was taken into the grooming parlour and my immediate thought
the Barbet was on the agenda (could I really be more gorgeous)?
was groomed, and we’re talking groomed as in a haircut
and then some. I went from looking like a mop with no
handle to looking like a dog!!!
how embarrassing is that
terror in my head was multiplied when about the only thing
that wasn’t groomed was my French er………..well
had visions of the Spins on their backs laughing their
had thoughts of my fans leaving in droves as they asked
“What the hell is that”
even “What was that”?
looked half the dog I was before – literally!!
all my hair on the floor as well – she could have
made another Claude from that lot – Don’t
worry peeps? There could never be two Claude’s!!
to add to my humiliation – she bathed me!!
peeps – Claude of the seven seas and lots of ponds
and she baths me!!!
I even smelled French………(Chanel No 5
I think it was)
god this was awful – it was bad enough before, but
now I smelled as well
like a mad scientist she proclaimed success and I was
now ultra gorgeous!! Oh really
looked in the mirror and nearly feinted.
just who the hell are you!!!!!!
here’s an odd thing, I felt brilliant if I’m
honest and charged outside feeling like a new dog - but
jumped in the pond – especially now ‘he’
had cleared a big chunk of it of reeds and stuff and that
pond is my new ‘must have’ playground –
The Dearest One is not so enthralled though because every
time I go out now – SPLASH…………..
did not go down well at all. I saw her drinking tea and
couldn’t quite make out the words but they weren’t
English or French……I may have heard a version
of Sacre Bleu but not quite put like that
so we have a new look Claude!!
I’m all curly now and probably a damned site cuter
the Spins, I hear you ask??
- not a word from them and they went round for days afterwards
very very quietly as I told them they were next on the
so devious Claude?
few days later much to my horror the Spins were indeed
next on the table – and they blamed me!!! Run Claude,
next shock horror was the day we went to the beach……….oh
I went with some of the Spins I decided that this was
the day I would do my own thing and having an ego the
size of a small planet I had also decided that nothing
today would phase me, this was going to be Claude the
Tsunami?? More to the point what is a Tsunami??
delusions of Grandeur were short lived as The Dearest
One wearing this year’s fashion statement? Her Armani
waders – slowly waded into the sea and with a toy
of mine and coaxed me in with her. For a while I stayed
in my depth as the sea was a little bit agitated!!
took a deep breath and strode with confidence onwards
and inwards towards the wading woman with the toy………
bowels edged towards self destruct as a gigantic one foot
Tsunami powered its way towards me and I had nowhere to
felt the first twinges of Pooing himself
Waders 2012 came over to rescue me – or rather to
make sure I had not been turned into canine seaweed
giant tsunami crashed over me and I was now a very wet
little puppy dog – oh bless him!!
this is Claude Barbet – Super dog and hero to millions!!
CB was un-phased, apart from the bowel twitching!! Even
the sea with all its might could not upset my day out.
suddenly I discovered that my feet were no longer touching
mother earth and I was now a floating Barbet – I
know what you’re thinking?
there simply no end to Claude’s talents’ –
a floating Barbet!!
paddled towards the Wading One who was at least 3 metres
from the shore!! And she showed me a treat!!! Not this
time lady I’m now swimming and have defeated the
mighty tsunami. And I hate salted treats……….
afterwards I headed back towards the beach and dry land
and felt exhilarated by my excursion into the deep blue
sea, well its grayish really and I just wanted to glamorise
the moment……..coz I can!!
that’s a tsunami is it?
and not as scary as I thought. Well bring it on deep grayish
sea because Claude is no longer bothered by your tsunamis.
got praised for his breath taking bravery and Claude got
two treats. So there!!
after that everything else was easy, annoy the Spins,
chase the ball, have another treat because she can’t
help it!! And of course a little bit more of the training
I am being trained I still enjoy the play that goes with
it and ‘He’ found a really good stick that
The Wading One used so I could have 5 minutes of training.
Sit, stay – watch the stick and where it lands and
then she sends me off to retrieve it. Easy and good fun.
occasionally – a treat if I bring it back to her
properly – as I do of course
So in a week when ‘He’ came home, I went to
a country show and met old spooky eyes – Gollum,
and then lost my voice having to repeat Bonjour peeps
to millions of my fans, I then took on and defeated a
giant tsunami when we went to the beach.
I’m only 6 months old!!
I good or am I GOOD?
peeps, that’s it for now but watch out because there
will be another adventures shortly
OK be patient, I know you can’t wait, but Claude
is in much demand)
revoir for now – I’m off to bed.