Christian festival threw me completely…….I
of course completely misunderstood this human element
in your festivity period and proceeded to destroy the
Crimson Ninja – Remember him? Whoops…..it
didn’t go down well at all. But how was I to know………all
Barbet got up one morning after a good night’s sleep,
yawned……….and gave a lazy stretch.
others were also waking up around me, we had heard The
Dearest One moving around and was obviously coming to
let us out for our morning constitutional. It was still
cold – allegedly – with my wonderful coat
I couldn’t tell of course and I was as warm as a
bug in rug.
let’s be clear about this, it’s not one of
my bugs in that rug – OK?
do not do bugs…..that and the fact we’re all
de- bugged with some chemical or other, flea off or tick
tormentor or something like that, or maybe it’s
just bug gar off!!! Could even be Russian chemical?? Itoreabugoff…forget
it then. Obviously wasted on you lot ?
The Dearest One ventured forth into the kitchen and we
heard the dulcid tones of kettle, mug – you can
guess the rest. And while the kettle was strutting its
stuff she came and let us out………..
leapt out of the open door!!!!! And made a dash for a
moment of peace – as I do………it
was then I suddenly realised that my eyesight had gone
completely weird and I was hallucinating that my world
had gone all white. Everything around me was white.
there was YOUR Christian festival……..and now
was far from amused
sat down to take in this new world around me. It was very
very odd indeed, what was this stuff and why have I now
got new shoes and why I am wearing make up?? Being French
is one thing and being French and fashionable another,
but Claude wearing make up??
very gun doggy I’m sure you would agree
now the others had cleared off and from what I could hear
they were having some real fun in this ‘stuff’.
I went down to the ménage to investigate
were having fun and I wasn’t…..what is this
stuff and what’s wrong with my feet??
others were too busy having fun to bother with me
front of me I saw Kallie who curiously was also wearing
make-up. I ran after her to ask what they were all doing
and to find out what this stuff was that wobbled my brain
and turned everything white. I mean white, oh please –
it’s not even a Gucci colour or an in season colour
and anyway, no one told me about this, so I had to find
out for myself
Freya came screaming past at about Mach 2 I realised I
was missing out here and decided I would leave Kallie
and go after Freya, she’s my mate and she would
know what all this white stuff was all about
this was beginning to be fun and I got faster and faster
and my skills at cornering just got better and better,
I was now a Moto GP dog, I was the Formula 1 of dogs –
in the white stuff
on peeps you know you want to say it…….WOW
– Claude Schumacher, Claude Rossi you know the names
– oh no??
just had a thought?? One’s a German and the other
an Italian……..Name change required here.
can either be Claude F1 Renault or Randy Claude De Puniet.
Personally I like the latter!!!
on le girls!!!
you’ve got to admit peeps I do look so damned good
was then I spotted Duncan looking like he had lost something
and was peering into a hole in the white stuff.
stopped and asked him what the problem was, had he lost
a bone or maybe a tennis ball or something. I was stunned
by his reply “It’s the Viz, he’s gone
in search of a mole he saw wearing a ski mask” “What
down there” I asked, pointing to where we thought
he had gone.
my God” said Duncan, “I’ve just realised
that he could come out in the cottage garden and that
could lead to another Mole war”
truce had been negotiated and this could ruin it”
peeps, that’s another story!!!
endless fun in the white stuff it was time to go back
to the house for breakfast. By now I think we were all
getting hungry, I know I was.
the world as I knew it had changed forever and now everything
was snow white.
that’s it peeps??
course, how stupid of me. I will name this stuff…..SNOW……I’ve
seen the movie??
White and the Seven Spins……..no wonder none
of them would tell me what it was. It was so obvious,
but I just couldn’t see it
another thought has just occurred to me??
wonder who the wicked witch is??
you know who it could be peeps??
I think you do……..
on that amazing revelation – this is Claude Barbet
on the slippery slope on the hill for WKFB news, handing
you back to the studio.
the hell do you get this make-up off”?
feet are melting” “Is that camera still running”?
this is so embarrassing; I’m leaving puddles everywhere
guess its snow use complaining…………”
next time peeps…….stay warm, stay safe and
remember kids – don’t try this at home!!!